When is it Okay to Hate People?

I can't count how many times I've said or heard phrases like "those damn bigots,"  or "those crazy homophobes," or "the useless bible-thumpers," or any similar, and very tempting, remarks.  I've often said them offhandedly or in a fit of anger, assuming "you promote injustice and bigotry, you must be a hateful bigot right to the core."  It seems simple enough, and it makes perfect sense.  But lately I've been trying to delve a little deeper, and I've come to a conclusion that we shouldn't necessarily write everybody off as fundamentally bad people so quickly.  If we do, we're probably not much better than they are.

My first problem stems from the generalization.  For example, the assumption that all religious people are automatically fanatic bigots.  That's not to say that, for example, fundamentalist Christian groups haven't been one of the most vocal and hateful oppositions to positive social progress, but at the same time, I've seen interviews where some extremely devout religious individuals, living in some of the most "bible-thumping" areas, were willing to question what those around them preached and say, "my religion is about love, and not intolerance."  Despite their religious views and their conservative upbringings, some people in the ranks of fundamentalist Christians have made the decision to support social equality.  So, although stereotypes are based off of truths, I wouldn't want to assume that all religious people are bigots, just as I don't want people to assume that all gay men are queens, or that all allies are actually gay.  It's not fair to any of us.

My other problem is with the fact that, on an individual level, we assume that all people who promote social inequality and intolerance are bad people at the core.  I believe that with most of these people's hatred comes a lifetime of lies and misinformation.  Most of these individuals have grown up in communities where a xenophobic message has been pounded into every fiber of their being day after day, to the point where they truly believe that there is a "homosexual agenda," and that "same sex marriage will be the end of civilization."  I don't believe that these people are actively trying to be hateful.  I believe that they have been taught to be hateful, and never learned to question what they were told.

I met Chely Wright, the first openly-gay country singer in history, a little over a week ago, and she told us that when her father saw Ellen DeGeneres coming out of the closet on TV, he turned off the monitor and declared that "that's disgusting."  Years later, when Chely told her father she was a lesbian, he resolved to love her unconditionally, no matter what.  He is still learning to overcome a lifetime of learned prejudice, but it takes time.  I think it's important to remember that he was once "one of those crazy religious bigots," who considered being gay to be something repulsive.  Now, he is an advocate for change.  We need to recognize how difficult it is for people to overcome their prejudices, and hope that some are capable of doing so.  I'd like to give the benefit of the doubt to at least some of them, and recognize that maybe, just maybe, they might be willing to learn to question the dogma.  Chely told us that when she told her father she was coming to speak to us, he asked her to "tell those young people that an old man can come a long way."  I no longer want to write off all people with bigoted beliefs as absolute bigots.  I want to recognize that they are real people with good intentions who have simply been horribly misled for a very long time. I'm resolving not to put them all into a category unworthy of my attention, but to respect them and be sorry that they've been lied to for so long.  I'm resolving to try to inform people of the truth, rather than insult them.  I hope I'm right in doing so.

What do you think?

Love,
Moriah